Planning a wedding as a couple is an exciting journey. However, one question often surrounds the enjoyable parts of the process: who pays for what in a wedding?
Whether you are planning a large event, an intimate celebration, or a civil wedding in NYC, budgeting always finds its way to the center of most planning decisions. As modern weddings have evolved, so have many of the financial dynamics of paying for the event.
City Hall Wedding presents this discussion to help everyone working on wedding plans navigate the complexities of financing their event.
Traditional Division of Wedding Expenses
Historically, most wedding expenses have been borne by the bride’s family. The tradition of the bride’s family covering the ceremony, reception, and related costs stems from the ancient English legal custom of a dowry.
The dowry doctrine actually required a bride’s family to provide necessary resources to support the couple indefinitely. Although that legal model fell away long ago, traditional etiquette still forms a starting point for thinking about expenses.
Extended Family Expenses
The current traditional understanding of who pays for what in a wedding involves the bride’s family paying for:
- Ceremony costs. This includes venue costs and decor.
- Reception costs. This includes the venue cost, catering, bar service, cake, and decor.
- Bride’s attire. This includes the wedding dress, accessories, and other bridal wear.
- Photography and videography. The bride’s family traditionally pays for capturing memorable images of the event.
- Stationery. This includes invitations, programs, place card displays, and thank-you notes.
- Flowers. This includes the floral arrangements for the ceremony, reception, and bridal party bouquets.
- Transportation. In addition to the married couple, the bride’s family sometimes pays for necessary guest transportation.
- Wedding planner. The bride’s family usually covers the cost if the couple hires a professional planner.
- Music and entertainment. This includes bands, DJs, or other entertainment at the ceremony and reception.
The groom’s family traditionally pays for:
- Rehearsal dinner. This includes the venue, food, and drinks.
- Groom’s attire. This includes the coordinated attire for groomsmen.
- Marriage license. The groom’s family also usually handles the officiant’s fee if the officiant is a personal acquaintance.
- Flowers for family members. This includes boutonnieres and corsages for the groom’s side.
- Accommodations for out-of-town guests. If these expenses are necessary, the groom’s family might cover these costs.
The Groom’s Expenses
The groom personally handles:
- Engagement ring. The groom also pays for the bride’s wedding band.
- Bouquet and boutonnieres. The groom typically pays for the bride’s bouquet and boutonnieres for the groomsmen.
- Gifts. The groom supplies thank-you gifts for the bride, groomsmen, and ushers.
- Honeymoon. The groom usually covers the cost of travel, accommodations, and activities.
The Bride’s Expenses
The bride generally personally pays for:
- Gifts for the groom and bridal party. These gifts are personally associated with the bride.
- The groom’s wedding band. The couple sometimes pays for this together.
Modern Trends in Wedding Expenses
The traditional roles laid out above may appear intimidating and highly regimented. Many couples choose to be more flexible and less bound by tradition.
A realistic, team-focused approach to managing wedding expenses is often a more effective way to plan and carry out the best wedding possible in light of economic realities and family dynamics.
These are some recent trends.
Shared Expenses
Many modern relationships are already based on understandings about sharing expenses based on preferences and financial capacities. Couples might divide costs equally or reach a reasonable budgeting agreement that involves relevant family members.
Couple Pays for Everything
Couples who marry later in life are often more financially secure and prefer to fund their weddings independently. One major benefit this provides is allowing the couple to exercise complete control over important planning decisions. It also immediately relieves the stress often associated with negotiating financial arrangements with others.
Equal Contributions From Both Families
Sometimes, both families simply agree to split all costs evenly — often promoting the spirit of joining two families together in a permanent bond. While this still requires careful planning and mutual agreement on details, it can help alleviate the stress involved with misplaced financial expectations.
Remember the Importance of Careful Budgeting as Part of Planning Your Wedding
Like most expenses in modern life, average wedding costs are steadily increasing. The average wedding in the U.S. in 2024 cost around $33,000, up from $29,000 just one year before. Of course, every wedding budget depends on many variables, like location, guest count, and the unlimited personal preferences of every couple.
Before making final decisions about dividing costs, a couple will benefit greatly from spending time creating a thoughtful and comprehensive budget. This sets the framework for making adjustments, discussing financial decisions, and dividing costs.
Many couples begin by creating multiple working budgets that involve three different tiers:
- Low budget. The couple considers what they can comfortably afford on their own with no outside help.
- Medium budget. The couple considers a compromise budget that includes at least some level of parental contributions.
- High budget. This budget is less concerned about costs, especially if the couple expects substantial parental contributions.
Working together on who pays for what in a wedding is a creative process, and you should consider it a brainstorming process in the early stages that builds a foundation for conservative adjustments to maximize benefits while controlling costs.
Ultimately, the budget the couple settles on should act as a firm framework to help planning move smoothly and with less chance of financial stress during a happy time in your life.
City Hall Wedding Helps Couples With All Aspects of Planning Their Event
Ultimately, deciding who pays for what in a wedding is a deeply personal process. Whether you follow tradition or prefer a more modern approach, the most important thing to remember is to communicate openly and honestly with everyone involved.
Setting clear expectations and working together as a team helps you create a wedding that includes efficient cost-cutting while reflecting your values and maximizing the value of your budget.
If you are currently planning or thinking about your dream wedding, visit City Hall Wedding to explore our resources and services designed to help you navigate every step of your journey.