Everyone getting married would like their wedding bells to ring forever. You’ll need to work hard with your partner to make this happen because every relationship has ups and downs. Premarital counseling benefits couples because they can work together to overcome their differences and potential problems long before they ever have their first argument as a married couple.
But when is premarital counseling necessary? City Hall Wedding is here to help you understand the benefits of counseling and when to start it so you and your partner can stick together through thick and thin.
What Is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling is couples therapy designed to help brides- and grooms-to-be talk out their differences and establish healthy habits before they say, “I do.” You may have found the love of your life, but if the two of you don’t know how to work out marital problems ahead of time, you’ll find yourself drifting toward separate paths since you always fight when you try to work on things together.
Tackling the question, “Is premarital counseling necessary?” can also help you determine the relationship’s marriage readiness. Therapy might show you that you’d like to spend more time dating or engaged so you can work out some kinks before you get married.
How It Works
Premarital therapy comes in many forms. You can visit a therapist in person or receive counseling online. You can choose licensed mental health professionals, or you can choose a leader of your religious institution.
There isn’t a right or wrong way to approach relationship preparation. The ultimate goal is for you and your lover to build a solid foundation so your marriage can stay strong for the rest of your lives.
Topics To Discuss
You can discuss anything in therapy, but you’ll soon find digging into difficult topics necessary.
Premarital therapy topics include:
- Children: Discuss when to have them and how to raise them.
- Money: Establish if you want separate or shared bank accounts, how to budget, and how to navigate differing opinions the two of you may have about various aspects of finances. This topic is crucial if one half is a saver and the other is a spender.
- Family: If you fear the “monster-in-law,” discuss it in therapy. How will the two of you handle difficult family members? How will you organize family holidays?
- Roles: Set boundaries regarding relationship roles. Will someone be the breadwinner while the other stays home with the kids? Are both expected to do the dishes or will you split tasks between each other?
- Hot Topics: Politics, religion, and morals are tough subjects to get into, but it’s better to do it before you’re married than to fight about it later.
- Location: Have a plan about what will happen if someone wants to move elsewhere.
Who Needs Premarital Counseling?
The short answer: Everyone planning on getting a marriage license benefits from premarital counseling.
Premarital counseling is often associated with religious circles, but whether you have a civil wedding in San Francisco or anywhere else, you should still find something of value in having counseling before you get married.
A couple who understands each other and is willing to work through differences holds the key to a long and harmonious marriage. Couples therapy before marriage will allow you to thoroughly learn about your partner, establish boundaries and roles, and set expectations for possibilities in the future.
When To Start Counseling
Many couples begin therapy after they get married or once they have their first fight. Premarital counseling seeks to delay the inevitable first fight by preparing you ahead of time.
So, when is premarital counseling necessary? You can begin as soon as you start thinking about marriage being a possibility with the person you’re dating. It may sound unnecessarily premature, but the earlier you start, the stronger your relationship will be once the wedding day arrives.
You can wait until you’re engaged, but starting while dating will give you plenty of time to discover what your partner wants out of life and whether it meshes with your goals. It will also be easier to back out of the relationship if you discover differences you can’t overcome.
Couples Therapy Benefits
There are so many benefits of counseling in and outside of couples therapy. It gives you a chance to work on yourself as an individual and how to work with your partner on big-ticket items like money and children. Other benefits include:
- Stop Problems Before They Start: As you get to know your potential life partner through premarital counseling, you might discover bad habits that don’t sit right with you. You can deal with these roadblocks head-on and find solutions before they become never-ending arguments.
- Conflict Resolution: Unfortunately, many couples don’t handle arguments well. Rather than one person spending the night on the couch, the two of you can establish a plan for conflict resolution and build up your communication strategies in advance.
- Calm Your Fears: Marriage is a big deal, and the future is scary; there’s no doubt about that. You can discuss with your partner and therapist all your fears about forever to move further into the relationship on stable ground with a calm mind.
- Learn To Be Optimistic: It’s easy to focus on how your partner doesn’t take out the trash enough or how bills are always too expensive. Your counselor will help you see all the bright sides of marriage so you’ll be prepared to hunker down and wait for the sunshine again when the storms roll in.
Grow With Your Partner
Getting married is easy — you only need a copy of your marriage license and a party to celebrate. Staying married, however, can be a little tougher. Premarital counseling can be just what you need for relationship preparation to ensure you and your life partner will be compatible even on the worst days.
Whether you’re thinking about marriage or are already wondering, “When is premarital counseling necessary?” City Hall Wedding has all the guides and tips you need for the best day of your life.